Self Talk

I have learnt over the past few years that I can talk myself into or out of anything.

Most of my large purchases have been as a result of me craving something. By craving I mean obsessing over it, researching it to the hilt and scheming over how I can afford it. Quite often this process can be over a long period of time and sometimes quite short.

I have only really regretted once, my impulse decisions over a purchase that I was too obsessed over to contemplate whether i really needed it RIGHT NOW.

Lately however my self talk has been how I can myself into eating junk food and out of going to my gym. It is absolutely amazing on the 40 minute drive home how I can convince myself that driving past the gym is a good thing and turning into the local junk food store is the BEST thing. It got so bad at one point that I had to make sure that I had healthy microwave meals at home that would take the same time as going through the drive through so that I could convince myself to skip the junk food. I also quite often have to make sure i am locked into a route home that doesn't pass the shops so that I am not tempted.

Learning how to combat my sheer willpower to eat badly is a challenge.

Have you managed to talk yourself into an expensive purchase of something that you don't need? How do you trick yourself into doing something good ie going to the gym?

You can find the most amazing things in out of the way places

I have had the fortune to travel fairly extensively for work. I decided in my mid twenties that I wanted to travel and get paid to do so. Out of this came many opportunities that I never imagined would be possible, and many life lessons learnt. I had both good and bad experiences and learnt much about human nature.

One of the things I have discovered is that you can find the most amazing things that will affect your life in many positive ways, in the smallest, most remote places that you would never think of exploring.

I was in a small town that I had visited previously, which had a really bad reputation as being violent towards women. I was nervous about going visiting, but had a half hour break from work and needed to get outside and away from what I was doing, and I had not had a break in a week or two. I was feeling quite down at the time and had been away from home for many months. I was looking for a little something to cheer me up. I visited a pharmacy to get "life's necessities" and then saw a little bookshop on the way back.

This bookshop was the smallest I have ever seen. I had 6 bookshelves, crammed full of books and a counter where the clerk was. As this was a foreign country I wasn't even too sure that there would be any books in English but was pleasantly surprised, and they had a nice range of small gifts as well.

I spent 5 minutes browsing but had to leave. On the way out I noticed a small little desk calendar. It was one of those that had daily quotes in it and I noticed the words "Abundance, Comfort and Joy" I grabbed it, and the clerk asked me whether I had read the book. I replied no and she recommended that I buy it as well. Looking at my purse I had the exact change for both items, not any more or any less. I purchased both, almost sight unseen and ran back to work.

A day or two later I opened the parcel. The book was by Sarah Ban Breathnach and was titled "Simple Abundance, A Day book of Comfort and Joy" . The book had a daily essay, themed by month of how to make the most of your life and appreciate what you have as opposed to constantly craving for what you don't have. There are many other things that you can get outof the book as well, and i constantly go back and open it up at random places and read when i need inspiration.

Sarah reinvented the Gratitude Journal and started a whole series of books and courses. Through some very dark times, the inspiration of this book, has helped me and if you get a chance to read it, I highly recommend it.

Friends - Can be your most Valuable Assets

I had a lovely dinner with a good friend of mine the other night. It was one of those dinners where the conversation just flows and every moment is enjoyable. It was a warm pleasant spring evening, and after dinner we kept talking and ended up taking her dogs for a small walk.

It made me remember just how valuable friends are and to never take them for granted. Too often we let friendships fall by the wayside, get caught up in the day to day grind of our lives or let the conversations turn into sessions venting about your work or family.

What I have learned is to never take anyone or anything for granted and to make the effort to be present in the moment when talking to someone. Your friends (and family) are the ones that are there in the good times and the bad, and it is important to nuture these relationships. Even if you don't catch up with someone for months at a time, drop them a note, text message or just give them a call. They may need you just as much as you need them.

Royal Botanic Gardens Cranbourne

One of the most underrated destinations in Melbourne is the Royal Botanic Gardens Cranbourne.  

There are two sections to the gardens a highly planned and landscaped Australian Garden, plus a large bushland area with a number of walks and places to explore.  There is wildlife that freely roams the area, lookouts and some great picnic areas and play areas for children.  

There are volunteers that take tours of the gardens and give great information, but some of the fun is to explore each of the areas yourself.  My personal favorites are

 - The Fragrant garden

 - The Weird and Wonderful Garden

 - The Woodlands Walk

 - Walking the Track in the morning or late afternoon and counting the wallabys crossing the track.

If you're like me and trying to get a little fitness into your day, walking or running the 5km Woodlands/Trig loop will get your heart rate up, get you out into the fresh air, and depending on your point of view, can help you renew your soul for the day.  There are certain parts of the walk through the grasslands, that for as far as the eye can see, is just countryside with no built structures  This is almost hard to believe considering how close the gardens are to housing estates and to central Cranbourne.

For a day of free entry and activities, plus a couple of good coffee shops for the adults, the Botanic Gardens at Cranbourne provide a good alternative to the gardens in Melbourne.  The gardens are on the South Gippsland Highway 40 minutes from the centre of Melbourne and are just past the Cranbourne Racecourse.

Moving out of home

It's natural when you finish school to want to stretch your wings.  Most make the choice to travel or move out of home while they work or study.  Some people want to leave home because they aren't getting on with their family, some want their independance, some want to explore the world.  What nearly everyone underestimates, is the cost.

If you are planning to live away from your parents, you need to plan early. 
You need
 - An income so you can pay the rent each month
 - At least a months rent for a desposit
 - References from an employer/family friend/school for the real estate agent
 - Connection fee payments for
    - Water
    - Gas
    - Electicity
    - Phone/Internet (although these days you can use a mobile  phone)
 - Money to pay the bills for the Water/Gas/Electricity etc each month
 - Contents Insurance/Renters Insurance
 - Furniture
    - Bed
    - Fridge
    - Microwave
    - Chair/Couch/Bean Bag
 - Laptop/Tv
 - Money for food
 - Ambulance Membership (you are no longer covered by your parent's coverage and trust me, you don't want that bill if you use an ambulance in an emergancy.  Often, if it is really bad, you won't have a choice.  This will be the best use of your money in the long term)

If you have a car you will also need
 - Auto Insurance
 - Car Registration
 - Money for car maintenance
 - Money for petrol

If you don't have a car you will still ned money for travel ie public transport or alternative transport such as a bike.

This is just the basics and a starting off point.  My mistake when I moved out was I didn't budget for the connection fees and underestimated the bills each month.

If you have any suggestions to add to the list, please add via the comments section.

Visions and Goals

It all seems so hard when you leave school.  You barely can focus on what is happening next month let alone what career that you might have in the future.

Some of us are really lucky and have have a firm idea of what they want to achieve at an early age.  Some know what they want, but reality sometimes catches up and they realise that they are not talented enough or not intelligent enough to achieve their dreams.  This dose of reality can be a shock, however if you have a vision of your future and the ability to set and reset goals, much angst can be alieviated.

One of the skills which I wish I had learnt properly before I left school is the ability to set a vision of my future, create goals from that vision, but know when and how to reset that vision if needed.  Everytime I have actually sat down and done this, I have achieved so much, I have had to learn to make this a habit and schedule it into my life, so as to keep the mommentum going.

There are many ways to do this, some of which I will explore in this blog and which will also reflect my journey along this path. 

Renewing your spirit

So many times I have neglected "feeding my soul".  When I have, I have become tired, frustrated and in many ways become lost in the mire of the day to day and forgotten how to dream and plan for the future.

Each person has their own way of feeding their creative spirit or finding an activity that gives them energy, both physical and mental.  One of the biggest lessons I have learnt is that as you get busier and busier with family and career, you need to still find a way of scheduling a little time to renew your spirit.

People have different ways of achieving of renewing their spirit  Some knit or do craft, others read, some travel. There are as many ways of feeding your soul as there are people.  Personally I like to travel and explore, go to art galleries and engage in personal development.  Many of the topics that I will post will be exploring these interests, however I am happy to take suggestions of other ways of feeding your soul that you would like me to explore as well.